YES! You SHOULD be powerful!
Did I get your attention? Let me say it again! As a woman and as a woman leader, you should be powerful! The question is, are you embracing and showing up in your full power? Are you showing up as who you really are, with all your gifts, talents, knowledge and expertise? Or are you shrinking yourself to fit in because your girlfriend tells you to play it softer? Or are you thinking “power is offensive” and woman should not be powerful?
Let me back up a bit and tell you what got me started on this!
I was in line at a local coffee shop to get my usual double espresso the other day and I overheard two young women talking. Not that I was eavesdropping! They were speaking loud enough for all of us in line to hear. Young Woman #1 said “I just did it again. I shared my thoughts with him as to how we can remove a couple of steps from the process and still make the goal with the same results. He pretended that he didn’t even hear me!” And then the Young Woman #2 says “Well, I have been telling you all this time. You are too powerful. Play it a little softer and he will hear you!”
Well… it was all I could do not to look at Young Woman #1 and say “Oh Em Gee!!! is she serious? Are you really buying this BS?? YOU SHOULD BE POWERFUL!!!” You owe it to yourself to be powerful.
I wanted to say “do you realize your power is the container that holds your softness, your values, your beliefs, your very essence? Do you know if you stop being powerful you won’t be soft but you will shrink yourself just to fit in?”
But I didn’t tell her any of these because we don’t do such things where I live! But there is nothing stopping me from writing about it.
The issue of powerful woman and woman’s power is near and dear to my heart. I want to see every woman and girl embrace her full power she is born with and rise! I was Young Woman #1 once. I was once told I was too strong for a woman! I bought it hook, line and sinker! Until I didn’t.
So, I am going to share with you what I couldn’t share with Young Woman #1 and I pray that maybe, just maybe, through a miracle, this blog post will pop up in her social media feed somehow.
First let’s talk about power. Power… Miriam Webster Dictionary’s simple definition of POWER is:
- the ability or right to control people or things
- political control of a country or area
- a person or organization that has a lot of control and influence over other people or organizations
Based on these definitions, no wonder women, more often than not, prefer not to hold on to power.
By definition, POWER is not in alignment with the nurturing essence of women. Women are energetically wired to nurture and stay with their tribe and will do what is necessary to stay in the tribe even if it means downplaying their power and unconsciously giving it away.
But let me introduce you to a different perspective. After all, when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change, right?
I see power as the container which holds your passions, strengths, gifts, talents, love and compassion for yourself and others; a container that holds your boldness, your courage and your fearlessness so that you lead and live true to your essence, true to who you are.
Power is about presence! It is the energy that tells the world that you know who you are; you lead and live from that knowing. Power is the expression and energy of who you are! You demonstrate this every day in the way you lead, speak and make decisions.
As a woman and a woman leader, your power is not about having control over others! Your power is the foundation on which you build your leadership. This foundation is what enables you to stand up for what is right; not just for yourself but, for your team and for your organization. This power allows you to take risks when you are called to do so. It is also the power that helps you see and stay true to the big vision for your leadership and for your life. It is your power that fuels you to create the transformation you desire to create without giving up who you are and what you stand for.
Do you relate to Young Woman #1? Is it you might be choosing to be “softer” so you are not “too powerful”? Are you saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’? Are you behaving in a way that is not in alignment with your own values and truth so that you fit in and get the approval from those around you, or staying in situations, places, or relationships that are unhealthy for you? Do you keep apologizing when there is no need to do so?
You might be thinking so what? At least I am not rocking the boat. If this is working for you, that’s fine. However, not reclaiming your power has significant costs. You don’t get to claim and own your own point of view, your own voice, or your authentic power. Your career, your relationships, and your life, well … doesn’t reach its full potential.
But you can take your power back – if that is what you desire! And it starts with you deciding that you will reclaim your power and won’t let anything get in the way of that. Don’t hesitate to say “no” when you know the answer is ‘no’. Learn to trust your own knowing. No one, but no one knows you as well as you know yourself. Don’t let someone else call the shots for you. Be fearless in walking alone if need be. Trying to fit in chips away at your soul until nothing is left.
Practicing just a couple of these every day will get you started on reclaiming your power. But if you need a “hand”, someone to walk this journey with you, I got you! I am here for you! This is what I do with my clients. Click here to reach out to me.
Let’s have a conversation to see how I can be that “hand” to raise you up to your full power so that you can be soft AND powerful!
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