I am full of unshed tears. I want to sob for every woman whose story goes unheard. For every woman who feels she needs to hide, makes herself shrink and simply exists. I want to sob so hard that I want it heard in all four corners of the world.
I am full of unshed tears for us woman who always have to justify and defend our truth even to each other. If a sister says black, and I say I don’t believe in black so I will take the turquoise, I am labeled judgmental and unsupportive. Since when nonjudgement and supportive became to mean that I will blindly follow you regardless of how I feel inside. Isn’t it this kind of attitude got us where we are today in the first place.
I am full unshed tears for the women who feel hurt because I chose to express my support in a different way than she does. I wonder why can’t my brain accept the fact that I can choose to support what I believe in my way, she can choose to support what she believes in her way; and both ways are good as long as we are supporting each other? Why is it okay for her to verbalize and ask me to do what she believes, but it is not okay for me to say “no, thank you, I rather do what is true to me for your way doesn’t resonate with me”… since when that became judgement and refusal of another sister?
I am full of unshed tears because I know that as long as I am determined to stand in my own truth and not defend it, I am going to be called out, challenged and asked to do so.
I am full of unshed tears for I will have to choose between to voice my truth versus to keep them to myself, or water them down not to offend someone with my own perspective on things.
I am full of unshed tears, because the journey ahead is going to be utterly lonely sometimes!
I am full of unshed tears, because I am willing to take the risk! I know I am not everyone’s cup to tea, then again, I have never been.
I am full of unshed tears, because even if I express my truth different than her, I don’t know if she will ever know I am standing up and speaking for us both!